Uncle Boojie’s Bourbon Tastin’

Well, howdy folks—Uncle Boojie here, callin’ ya down to our Homeplace for a tastin’ of our world famous Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. This here’s a family recipe that’s been rumblin’ down through the hills of Kentucky for over 200 years, and I reckon it’s ‘bout time you got a taste of it. We’re open seven days a week—‘cept for a couple holidays when we’re off eatin’ turkey or trimmin’ the tree—so come on down any ol’ time ya please, and let’s have us a hoot.

Now, when ya roll up, we gotta make sure you’re 21—ain’t lettin’ no young’uns sneak a nip ‘round here—and leave them shootin’ irons and the Bowie knives in the wagon. We don’t need no ruckus, just good folks and good bourbon. Get here a mite early, ‘cause we like keepin’ each tastin’ station ‘bout 10 folks strong—nice and cozy, so ya don’t lose your spot to some tardy feller. Now if you got a young’n with you we will find a way to keep everyone entertained, but if they is a walkin’ the bonded warehouse is off limits—we ain’t messin’ around with whiskey rules, don’t need the government comin’ down on us.

My crew’ll herd ya into our tastin’ warehouse, where you and your pals’ll taste my bourbon straight from the barrel—unfiltered, raw, and just how the good Lord reckoned it oughta be. You’ll get a little nip from each one, lettin’ that Kentucky fire spark on your tongue. When ya find the barrel that sings your song, you’ll fill up your own bottle right there. We’ll slap a label on it, box it up nice, and send it home with ya somethin’ to crow about over supper.

While you’re here, we’ll spin ya a few yarns ‘bout our folks who hauled the whiskey-makin’ tradition clean over to America. Them old timers were a scrappy bunch—dodgin’ storms, redcoats, and revenuers to get this hooch flowin’. Most of what we say’s true as a preacher’s promise, but every now and then we stretch a whopper so tall you’ll swear to it on a stack of Bibles—‘specially after a couple nips.

We figure this barrel-dippin’ fun’ll take ‘bout an hour, but I ain’t one for shovin’ good company out the door. Hang ‘round after, pull up a stump, and dig into a bite of our Perfect Down South Country Grub simple, hearty stuff to sop up the hooch. Our drink-slingers’ll rustle up one of our curated cocktails too, somethin’ with a wallop to keep the yarns spinnin’.

So mosey on over to the Uncle Boojie Homeplace. Bring your thirst and your buddies, and let’s raise a glass to the bourbon that’s kept our family kickin’ for two centuries. Ain’t just a tastin’—it’s a slug of Howardstown history in every swallow. See ya soon!

—Uncle Boojie